You see the physical stresses that get put on your system always have a bad guy. You always know what is causing the pain, so it is easier to accept and deal with the pain.
Of all the mental battles that a cancer patient goes through, nothing is tougher mentally than dealing with boredom. Thats right I believe dealing with boredom is actually tougher than dealing with the worst physical symptoms the treatment can hit me with. It isn't just boredom, I am just using that as a catch all phrase. There are actually two prongs to it. First there is the actual boredom. When going through cancer you spend a ridiculous amount of time alone and in that time you need to find things to do. And lets face it, there is only so much TV you can watch :). The caveat that makes it tough is because of the condition and treatments you are going through, the activities you can participate in are sometimes limited. The second prong to the mental battle is actually dealing with being in limbo. Once you get diagnosed with cancer everything in your life gets put on hold. At first everyone in your network goes into limbo too but slowly everyone starts getting back to their regular routines and then it is just you left sitting in limbo wondering when you will get your life back.
I have been pretty good at getting dealing with these two difficulties. When I first got out of the hospital I used to get extremely frustrated with the boredom and living in limbo but have learnt to accept them as part of my path. One technique that has worked well is living more relaxed (which for those that know me it is crazy I could have gotten more relaxed :) ). But I am always open to more suggestions, so anyone with a suggestion to beating the boredom I am all ears :)
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I found that after my treatment was done, getting my mind readjusted to the daily grind was a bit tricky, too. It may seem odd, but I found that one nice thing about the treatment was that everyone cares about/for you, and you get to be a hero without actually doing anything. Then you're back on a level playing field and you have to deal with the same everyday crap as everyone else - it can be quite jarring.
ReplyDeleteI think you are selling yourself short a little by saying you don't do anything. The amount of energy required to keep positive and successfully complete all your treatments successfully I would say is nothing less than heroic.
ReplyDeleteWhen you get baack to the same everyday crap as everyone, at least you have been blessed with perspective now and have an understanding of what is truly important