The Day After

Good Morning everyone,

Today I write to you from my new blogging space. A super comfortable lazy boy recliner on my balcony looking out over the marina, lake, and toronto skyline. It makes for a very breathtaking view. The sun is so hot today that I had to remove my jacket in minutes and I think I am going to need to go get sunscreen. What a great spring day!

Well I have been out of the hospital for over a day and I thought I would reflect on it. It is a very different feeling being out of the hospital and is going to take some getting used to. I should explain something about my condition before I continue so some of this blog makes sense to those who might be unaware of it. The treatment plan I am has me take a fairly large dose of a steriod each day. This steriod actually causes me to be a steriod induced diabetic. Which means i have to do the 4 times daily blood sugar and inject myself with two different types of insulin throughout the day.

I would be lying to you if I told you that there isn't a small feeling of anxiety not being in the hospital. For 27 years I had complete trust in my body and in a matter of minutes your whole world gets turned upside down when they tell you it doesn't work properly anymore. There are little things to get used and learning to trust in my body again. I spent 40 straight days of giving blood and looking at my blood counts each and everyday. Now it is about getting used to trusting that the body is working again and knowing that the counts are where they need to be.

The second thing you learn is just how organized nurses really are. The med schedule is just insane. I had to create an excel med schedule (now this might be more my analytical geekiness) and go out and get 5 rows of weekly pill holders just to keep the week organized. :) I also went out and got a blackberry just so that I can keep the reminders of my med times, and any appts that I have. Now the blackberry was also for personal fun and being to keep in better contact with all of you, but lets stick with the sick card for the reason for getting it ;) I marvel at the nurses organizational skills. I look at keeping myself organized and couldn't imagine doing it for multiple ppl at once.

The other thing is the diet. Especially being diabetic it is such a different world planning out your food so meticulously and making sure to minimize the added sugars. I have actually been doing an amazing job at managing my sugars and this morning was the first time since my induced diabetes that my blood sugar was in the normal range! :)

It isn't all bad though, there are some wonderful things. There are some things to still get used to. Being back at home, it is very easy to overdue it. I constantly have to remind myself to take little baby steps. It feels like I have a completely new lease on life though. I went for a walk yesterday to shoppers to get my pill holder and thermometer and had to constantly remind myself not to walk to fast. But while walking I realized just how beautiful everything was. I felt like a completely new man.

Although the diet is very discplined it is not bad at all. It is probably the best diet in the world. If you ever need a crash diet, chemo is the way to go. So far this year I have lost 36 pounds. I wanted to lose 30 for the whole year, so now I am going to have to find a new New Years resolution. Basically I eat as much as I want when I want and still lose weight. The dietician won't be happy with me. When leaving she told me to keep my weight constant for a couple months and this morning I was 1.4kg lighter. The funny thing is I ate a tonne yeesterday. I guess I am going to have to eat even more :)

I hope everyone is enjoying my thoughts each day. I love to hear your comments and reflections towards my thoughts. Many times it is your comments that inspire the next days blog.

Have a wonderful day and to all those Irish out there Happy St Paddys Day! Amy and I will be celebrating with a nice steak dinner and green Koolaid! Not quite the green pints of old but will have to do ;)

Until tomorrow,

Aaron