A Need for Perspective

Good Morning Everyone,

It has been a little while since I posted here and apologize for that. It has been a pretty tough past couple weeks for me. Not due to physical ailment but mentally it has been very tough. . Throughout this process I have become pretty good at being able to deal with being physically down but haven't had too many mental down moments. It wasn't one thing in particular that got me down but more a collection of "evils". As time goes by while fighting leukemia there are little things that get to you. For instance, two of the biggest things are never having feeling or sensation in your fingers and toes or having constant aches in muscles that really have no reason to ache.

I think the biggest reason for my mood was my own doing though. I knew that I have a very long journey ahead but I think it really set in in the past couple weeks. To get through this journey I knew that I had to find hobbies that would help me pass the time so that my home would not become a jail sentence. So I think a lot of the issues were caused by me trying to figure out what hobbies I could actually take up that would inspire me and make me happy. And you know what they say, you can't force creativity. The more I tried to figure it out, the more unhappy I would feel.

Thankfully life always has a way of balancing the scales. What I really needed was some new perspective. This was provided to me when I was at PMH for my appointment on Wednesday. I found out that my old roomate Tony did not achieve remission and had to start his induction therapy over again on Tuesday. What a realignment of perspective that was for me. Here I was depressed about being stuck at home, when I forgot that at least I was at home. Here my friend was being forced to stay in the hospital for another 30 days.

Don't worry, I am all good now. I have found my summertime hobby that will inspire me for years to come (will write about that another time :)) and I am counting my blessings again. I think it is very easy for us to slip into routines and only see the bad things. This mental state can easily snowball and bring us down. I know for me to succeed in this battle I am going to have to constantly remind myself of the blessings I have. I hope each of you can take something from this and find the small blessings you are thankful for in your life. Those are what count.

I hope you have a good weekend,

Aaron