My Week In Review - 11.19.10

Well it is time for my weekly update.  Truthfully there isn't much to report from the past week.  This past week was the toughest week of my cycle so I end up not doing too much while dealing with the exhaustion from chemo and withdrawal from steroids.  Although this cycle was a maintenance cycle and the doses were a slight bit lower I still had some tough periods this week.  It all came to a head Wednesday morning when the withdrawals hit their worst.  Thankfully they only lasted half the day as opposed to the two full days of withdrawals in cycles past.  This cycle brought a slight change to my cycle by getting the chemo injected on Wednesdays instead of Thursdays.  This really isn't that big of a deal except that when going through the withdrawals the chemo makes you feel kind of crappy.  Thankfully it only happens once every three weeks. :)  Other than that I have continued with the treatment of my foot.  That still is taking over my life by not allowing me to walk properly and affecting my lifestyle.  Somedays I just wish it was done and I could move on but I know I have a few more weeks of treatment I am sure.  Thankfully they are both getting smaller on a weekly basis.

I started looking into the idea of joining a gym.  I think working out on a daily basis would do wonders for my mental state and really help with my recovery.  I won't even start to begin to look at that until my foot is healed.  Also I am a little hesitant to start something like that with the transplant coming up.  Again stuck in that limbo waiting :).  If my foot gets healed and I still haven't had the plan to start the transplant I will go ahead with the gym.  So it more my foot holding me in limbo than the cancer.  That is the most frustrating part about it.  I found this really cool gym where they teach boxing.  That would be pretty cool wouldn't it...:) I have heard that that training is the very best workout you can get.  What do you guys think?

Other than that it was a pretty blah week.  The weather has been terrible all week so I wasn't able to go get any good pictures.  I went out on one afternoon but with it being so overcast the lighting was terrible.  In addition, the ground was wet so I couldn't do my usual rolling around on the ground looking for cool point of views.  Hopefully next week will provide some better camera weather.

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend this weekend.  We are decorating the apartment tonight and tomorrow with the xmas stuff.

Aaron


There isn't much to report on from this past week.  This week was the tough week of my cycle.  It is tough because I usually get some exhaustion from the chemo injections from last week coupled with going through steroid withdrawals.  Compared to tough weeks in the past cycles, this week wasn't terrible.  I only had one really tough morning on Wednesday with the withdrawals.  There


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Cancer...What They Don't Tell You About

So what is actually the toughest part of cancer?  Most people would assume it is the difficulties associated with the treatments.  Now I would be lying if I said that these were easy to get through because the side effects associated with chemotherapy and steroid treatment can often be just nasty.  I have found the most diffiult part of the cancer battle is actually the mental one.

You see the physical stresses that get put on your system always have a bad guy.  You always know what is causing the pain, so it is easier to accept and deal with the pain.

Of all the mental battles that a cancer patient goes through, nothing is tougher mentally than dealing with boredom.  Thats right I believe dealing with boredom is actually tougher than dealing with the worst physical symptoms the treatment can hit me with. It isn't just boredom, I am just using that as a catch all phrase.  There are actually two prongs to it.  First there is the actual boredom.  When going through cancer you spend a ridiculous amount of time alone and in that time you need to find things to do.  And lets face it, there is only so much TV you can watch :).  The caveat that makes it tough is because of the condition and treatments you are going through, the activities you can participate in are sometimes limited.  The second prong to the mental battle is actually dealing with being in limbo.  Once you get diagnosed with cancer everything in your life gets put on hold.  At first everyone in your network goes into limbo too but slowly everyone starts getting back to their regular routines and then it is just you left sitting in limbo wondering when you will get your life back.

I have been pretty good at getting dealing with these two difficulties.  When I first got out of the hospital I used to get extremely frustrated with the boredom and living in limbo but have learnt to accept them as part of my path.  One technique that has worked well is living more relaxed (which for those that know me it is crazy I could have gotten more relaxed :) ).  But I am always open to more suggestions, so anyone with a suggestion to beating the boredom I am all ears :)



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So Why do I Blog?

Blogs...what would ever cause someone to committ to writing an article everyday (or close to everyday).  There are many reasons to write a blog.  Some people write it to make a business out of it and make revenue, others as a way of sharing ideas or gossip, or as a way to update friends and families during illness.

I often get the comment, "I don't know how you do it, how you can write everyday".  Well I can tell you that this blog has been a work in progress throughout the whole year.  It actually started as a word document on my personal laptop where I was just journalling all my feelings and thoughts as I was living this horrific experience of starting to live with this disease.  The journalling was sporadic at best, but I wanted to get some feelings down on paper.  It was twofold, I knew that going through this process was going to go by so quickly and in a blur I wanted to remember what I thought and how I going through it.  Secondly, journalling is time and again regarded as one of the most theurapeutic exercises one can do when working through tough times.  I continued this practice off and on just as a way of recording the events that were happening.

The blog didn't come about until I was lying in my bed in the hospital and was pondering how I could use my experience to better myself and others.  That is when I realized that I shouldn't be keeping my thoughts and reflections to myself but sharing it with the world.  I found other people's experiences so helpful when I was going through my treatments that I felt I had an obligation to pay it forward so that others might benefit from my experiences.  My biggest hope and dream is that, the trials and tribulations I have gone through with this will benefit someone else in a positive way.  And it was with this vision that my blog was born.  For the past couple months I have been spending lots of time redesigning it the way I want, and figuring out what I want to write about.

So the question remains how do I write everyday.  Well the first little secret I have learnt over the year is actually get a couple posts ahead so I only have to write when inspired ;)  (Keep that between us though :D )  I am definitely not blogging to make a million dollars.  Although I do have ads on my page the net me a couple cents a day.  It just feels good to see you make a little bit of money for all the work that goes into writing :)  To tell the truth my blog almost died just over a month ago.  I was not entirely satisfied with what I was posting about and didn't really feel like it was living up to the vision with what I wanted to accomplish with the blog.  Instead of killing it though I took sometime and re-examined my vision for the blog and what I wanted to write about.  It was then I realized that my true passion was my reflections and those were what people would take from my experience most.  I could do million of lists of how to get through chemotherapy but those are a dime a dozen on the internet, and not many of my readers needed that information.  For me it became evident I could focus more on how we can use my experiences to make all our lives better.  My ultimate dream would be to write a book when I am through this whole experience that might add value to other's lives, and this has been providing a great avenue to work out my thoughts and reflections.

I am a very introspective person constantly thinking and reflecting.  Going through this experience has only made that stronger because you spend so much time alone during the days.  This is where the writing of the blog helps because it gives an avenue to express my thoughts and feelings.  For the first couple months of being sick I spent more time watching tv and vegging out.  But over the past little while as I have become more inspired by hobbies and writing, the tv rarely goes on anymore.  I spend most of my mornings listening to music and writing.

Well sorry if that rambled a little bit today.  I just wanted to share with all of you the reasons why I write.  I did joke earlier about the lake of monetary compensation with the blog, but the true compensation that I value the most is that all you, my readers continue to enjoy my posts.


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Everything You Need...Life's True Lessons

How can a blog about the trials faced, lessons learned, and reflections gained of a person going through cancer truly add value to my life if I am not going through it myself?  Well this is the fundamental question I faced when trying to develop content for this blog.  It wasn't until I took a step back that I realized that going through this hellish experience was providing me with more insights and learnings than most people would only dream of getting by my age. 

We all go through very difficult times in our lives.  If there is only one thing you can be sure of, it is that I guarentee you will encounter a difficult time in your future.  But why should you go through it alone and have to learn as you go.  At their essense, all difficult situations are similar.  Sure they come in many forms (Cancer or other health problems, death of someone close, divorce/seperation, serious injuries, etc.) but at their essense the skills required to get through them and lessons learnt are almost always similar.  This is why I recently wrote a post about Personal Tragedies and why we shouldn't keep them a secret.  We should be sharing what we learn going through these tough times, so the next person can achieve greater growth and pass that along.  I found this poem on the internet that sums up the true lessons we learn in life perfectly.

"I asked for Strength.........And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors.........And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ........I received everything I needed!

Today is the last day of your life........so far " - Author Unknown

Some recently shared a reflection with me that I thought would be the perfect way to end today's discussion.  "Why do we never wish on people the negative experiences that can turn them into the most admirable of characters."  Just some food for thought :)

Have a great day.

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Cancer...The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread?

Have you ever heard the token phrase, "Cancer was the best thing that happened to me"? I have done a post called "the Lucky ones" that talked about one of my first inspirations in dealing with my cancer.  It haven't read it or forget check it out here The Lucky Ones

Before I got sick I used to hear this line and always wonder what the hell the person was talking about.  I thought the person must either be crazy or on drugs because there was no way that getting cancer was the best thing that could happen to them.  Well I am here to tell you that I am one of the converted.

Now you must be thinking I must be on drugs or crazy.  Well I am on drugs lots of em! ;) But that isn't the reason I agree with cliche.  I would never wish anyone to go through this battle as it is not easy.  But I thought I would share with you why I think cancer survivors think having cancer was the best thing to happen to them.

The first reason is they won the battle.  Make no mistake going through the treatments is a battle.  In fact it is probably the biggest challenge a person will ever face because it is physically, emotionally, and mentally daunting all at the same time.  So why would someone continue to have this view in the face of this?  They won the battle.  Lets face it.  You rarely ever hear the thoughts and insights of people that lost the battle with cancer.  You hear of the people and that they lost their battle but it often happens too fast for them to share a lot of their thoughts and reflections.  So most of the time when you do hear opinions on fighting cancer it is from survivors that won their battle.  And as humans nothing makes us feel better than the sense of accomplishment.  What could make you have a better sense of accomplishment than overcoming the biggest challenge you will ever face? I am willing to bet not much ;)

The second reason and more popular reason why people look at cancer as a blessing is it has given them a second chance.  The whole cancer process opened their eyes that life is truly short and unexpected and that they need to make the most of their days. 

Well those are my thoughts on why people view it as a blessing instead of a curse.  I would love to know what you think?  Is there another reason why it might be a blessing?


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