Week in Review 12.03.10

Well as most of you already new I received news that my bone marrow transplant is going to take place in December.  I get admitted to the hospital on December 16th which is not too far from now so I have a lot to do to prep for it.  Since it is our second time in the hospital we have a little better idea of what we need.  So  between stocking up for the hospital, all my prepatory appointments, finishing my christmas shopping, and eating all the things that are going to be forbidden :) it will be a busy couple weeks.

Commenting - i really appreciate all the comments and love to hear from all of you but most people seem to using the anonymous posting.  If you use this posting type and feel up to please sign your name at the end of the comment, I love knowing who I am hearing from :)  If you want to remain anonymous but still comment, no biggie, I still love hearing from you. :)

Small Request  - most have you have will have noticed a small amount of ads on the blog.  If you like a blog post or just feel up to please feel free to click on an ad.  You can close the page once clicked.  It is only a couple cents but always nice :)  Plus it will be a good way for me to know which posts you like the most ;)

Holiday Season is the time to give - The holidays are truly a time for giving.  I have a present idea for each of you that will cost nothing :)  If you are able please go out and give blood.  A bunch of you have already started with the blood donation challenge but if you aren't please consider giving this holiday season.  The holiday season is always a time when the blood banks require more blood and there are less donations.  It will only take a small bit of time out of your day and you can change the lives of 3 people.  What better way to go into the holiday season that saving three lives.  I bring this up because between Christmas and New Years this year I will be requiring blood products each day to keep me alive.  If you do donate please leave a comment letting us know your name and donation date.  It is always so great to hear about the donations!

I am at a good mental place now going into the transplant.  I am still not super excited about the bone marrow biopsy but I am trying not to think about it too much because that just makes it worse.  It is a necessary evil so I will just grin and bear it ;)  I have my game plan for trying to deal with the chemotherapy this time around. I am not too sure what to expect with the radiation but I hope to find a really experienced nurse once I get there and get all the great prevention tips :)

Well I hope you all have a great weekend.


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A Walk Along the Lake

Last week I went for a walk one afternoon along the Lake.  The sunlight wasn't the greatest because it was overcast most the afternoon but it popped its head out once in awhile.  Here are some of my favorite shots from the afternoon.

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All I Want for Christmas...

I got some surprising news on Tuesday.  Around noon the transplant team called me and told me that my doonor has chosen December for when they want to do their donation.  This means that I will be admitted back into PMH on Dec 16.  I will begin my heavy duty chemotherapy on the 17th.  After four days of heavy chemotherapy I will go for a couple of full body radiation sessions on the 21st.  And then on the 22nd I will receive my new bone marrow stem cells. 

I titled this post all I want for christmas because I have kind of had that song all i want for Christmas is my two front teeth in my head :)  I wonder if I could write one for bone marrow (if there are any song writers out there feel free to take a shot ;) ) 

When I first got the phone call I have to admit I was a little in shock and had a lot of nerves.  It took a lot to process everything.  Most people would think that the emotion you would feel is excitement and happiness but at first those are not the predominant emotions.  Sure there is a small bit of happiness.  I also feel gratitude towards this stranger that is giving me such a big christmas gift.  I think the gratitude will be at it highest when I am receiving the stem cells and the happiness will really start to take hold as my counts start to climb again.  Right now though the major emotions are shock, apprehension, and nervousness.  The shock comes from it finally coming true.  You go through such a long waiting time that it almost doesn't seem real that you are going to go through the bone marrow (more like a distant dream ;) ).  The apprehension is not a overwhelming feeling (don't worry I am not thinking of backing our anything like that).  It is more a combined feeling with the nervousness.  They are more derived in the fact that I have one of the biggest fights of my life coming up. And that I guess is the root of why you don't feel super excited and happy.  Sure as the process goes along the excitement will increase but right now I am mentally preparing myself for what lies ahead which is a very difficult road.

On the day I found out I was being transferred to PMH to begin my treatment I had a similar experience.  It actually is a feeling I haven't felt since the last time I raced at Nationals.  The nerves are a bad thing, just part of getting mentally prepared for a tough battle (whether a big race or big chemotherapy treatment :) )

Those are most of the details for now.  Over the next 2 weeks I have a lot of testing and procedures that have to performed on me.  Next Tuesday I get about 15 vials of blood taken and my bone marrow aspirated and biopsed.  This bone marrow procedure is actually what is taken up more of my apprehension feeling because it is so unpleasant.  I will be very happy once I am through that.  I also have to have a hickman line re-inserted, two heart tests performed, a ct scan of my organs, and a pulmonary function test done.  With all these testing there may be some days I am not able to post an update over the next 2 weeks.

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Blood Donations

Over the past year your response to my blood donation challenge has been amazing.  So far we have had 60 donations (that I know of).  Please if you have donated and not posted your update please do so (you can't win the challenge if I don't know about your donations ;) )  Remember you can post in one of two places; either on the facebook page or if you aren't a member of facebook posting a comment on the blood donation page of this blog.  Right now we have one person leading the challenge but I have a feeling that others have donated and not posted their donation.

For those that are new to the blog after I went through my first stay in the hospital I realized just how important blood donations were.  I was receiving someone else's blood that was literally keeping me alive.  It made me feel terrible because I had never given blood and now with my disease I was not able to donate in the future.  So I asked everyone I knew to donate.  My original goal was to replenish the blood banks of the blood I used.  To make it a little more fun I have made a competition out of the blood donations.

A found a couple quick facts on blood donation that I thought I would share:

• On average, every minute of every day, someone needs blood or blood products in Canada.
• The need for blood is greater over long weekends and during the winter and summer holiday and vacation seasons because regular donors may be away or too busy with other activities to maintain their regular donation schedule. Meanwhile, the demand for blood and blood components is constant.
• One donation-which takes about an hour of your time-can improve or even save up to three lives.

That means with your blood donations this year you have changed 180 people's lives.  That is so amazing and you all should be so proud. 

I also found this need little link that helps you calculate when you can do your next blood donation.
http://www.blood.ca/centreapps/internet/uw_v502_mainengine.nsf/E_DonCalc



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The Mental Battles

The past year I have undergone numerous mental battles.  Each battle has been different and had its challenges but also provided its share of lessons.  I thought today I would reflect on a few of the mental battles I have experiences.

The most overwhelming mental battle I underwent occured around Easter of this year.  At this time I underwent one of my many intrathecal chemotherapy treatments (this treatment involves a needle being inserted into my spinal cord and a chemotherapy agent injected directly into it).  One of the side effects is a potential to develop headaches.  Thankfully I only have had this side effect once (knock on wood :) )  But this side effect occured over easter weekend.  This is not any headache but the most debilitating experience of my life.  The mental battle actually came from just dealilng with the overwhelming pain day after day without any end in sight.  Unfortunately there isn't much you can do in these circumstances to make your situation better.  Half way through the headaches I received so super strong pain killers from my doctor and it changed my world.  The most difficult part of the whole time was being in excrutiating pain and having no end in site.  Every day that I woke up in pain just got more and more overwhelming.  I hope I never have to go through something like this again but if I do I will be much quicker to getting pain killers :)

The most difficult mental battle I underwent was actually going to the doctor's office to get my plantar's wart burnt.  It is funny because it seems like it would be nothing but it actually took me over 2 months to build up the courage and mental fortitude to get through the doctor's door.  I never realized that I would have those fears.  I still don't know what was the full root of it but the last time I had been in that office I received the news to go straight to the hospital and then I found out about the leukemia.  So I am guessing it had something to do with that ;)  Finally one morning I just woke up and walked straight out the door before I had time to talk myself out of it.  Once I went once it was like a weight was lifted and now I have no problems with it.  The biggest lesson I learnt here was perseverance.  I knew after the first morning of me talking myself out of going to the doctors office that it was going to be a tough thing to overcome.  I never rushed myself or made myself feel bad for talking myself out of it.  I knew one day I would get there and that was good for me. 

Well those are my two toughest mental battles I have gone through this year.  Of course there are lots more that I have been through, and many more to come I am sure.  You don't have to go through cancer to undergo mental battles.  Just know that each one will make you a stronger person for going through it.



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