The Unknown Truth- You are Stronger than you Think

When tragedy comes knocking at your door one of the most common things you will hear is, "I don't know how you do it, I could never get through what you have been through".  I know this because I have heard this countless times.  First, when my father died when I was 12 years old and again the past two years as I have undergone the treatment for my Acute Leukemia. 

A common response to this statement is, "You are never given more than you can handle", if fact I wrote a short post about this very response just over a year ago here.

The core of this belief can be summed up in this quote by Lisa Wroble:

You are stronger than you think,
remember to stand tall.

Every challenge in your life
     helps you to grow.

Every problem you encounter

strengthens your mind and your soul.

Every trouble you overcome
     increases your understanding of life.

When all your troubles weigh
heavily on your shoulders,

remember that beneath the burden
you can stand tall,
because you are never given
more than you can handle...
and you are stronger than you think.

When I originally came across this quote I was of the mindframe that I was given my cancer for a reason.  I knew I was extremely strong enough to beat my cancer but that every ounce of that strength would be tested to achieve this.  Not only that but I knew I would be able to learn something from this experience.

It wasn't just this circumstance though, I believed my father died for a reason.  Without that tragedy I wouldn't have grown up into the person I am today.  In fact, I believe all the tragedies that happen in our lives happen for a reason.  I won't get too deep into this concept as it is a topic that I will discuss on its own another day.  But it is true from the smallest to the most devastating challenges, they have all happened for a reason. 

Unfortunately, tragedies present themselves regularily in our lifetimes.  In fact, it is more likely that you will have to face a tragedy or two, than not have to face one.  So is that people see someone else going through a difficult time, do they believe that they can't do it themselves? 

I have been contemplating this thought for that last little while in conjunction with Lisa Wroble's quote and came to this conclusion;

We are capable of getting through anything life throws at us

It is in our nature to do so.  We as human beings instinctively are survivors, that is the reason our race survived the threats of natural selection and fluorished.  Not only are we capable of surviving tragedies, we are wired to learn from them.  Remember,

Every challenge in your life
helps you to grow.

Every problem you encounter

strengthens your mind and your soul.

Sometimes when I look back on the past two years at all the things I have had to endure to get through this nasty cancer, I myself am a bit in awe.  I wonder how I got through everything, and even catch myself wondering if would be able to get through it again.  But I know deep down that if I was ever presented with the situation again I would find a way.  That is what we do when we are presented with seemingly unsurmountable tragedies, adapt and survive. 

So if you are ever presented with one of life's tragedies remember the Unknown Truth; you are stronger than you think.

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I think I may be a Senior Citizen

Well the day has finally come, I think I may be a senior citizen.  I am sure you are thinking how can this be?  Well let me lay out the facts and see what you think.

Exhibit #1 - Well the first exhibit is that I chose to do this posts in exhibits instead of paragraphs.  This is inspired of course by my favourite new show the Firm, but it could have just as easily been inspired by Murder She Wrote.

Exhibit #2 - I own a 4 level pill dossier. Really think about it, who do you know that has the need to organize their pills that much :)

Exhibit #3 - I need to take on average 20-25 pills a day! Thats right you read that correctly, up to 25 pills a day.  Remember that picture from months ago with the hand full of pills?  Well it still is ;)

Exhibit #4 - This is more of my brother's joke towards me but works well in this arguement.  As he would say, I am in my early retirement :)

Exhibit #5 - I used to live in Port Credit.

Exhibit #6 - Did I mention my grey hair ;)

Exhibit #7 - I joined a weekly photography group but instead of group it is a "Guild".  First, I hadn't heard of a guild since my readings on them in the medieval times and fantasy books.  But how cool is that, I am a member of a guild ;)  With that said, I am one of the youngest members in the group by a long shot, although my grey hair helps me camoflage in :D 

Exhibit #8 - this was the piece of evidence that finally sold me on my senior citizen status.  I went to a public swim yesterday afternoon to try and begin building back up my strength and I was again the youngest in the pool by at least 40 years.  Again thankfully the grey hair helped me fit it :D  When I started swimming I had to choose the slower swimming lane or grey lane as I like to call it

It is okay, I accept my fate; senior citizen it is.  But just one question, where do I get my discount card??  :D

disclaimer - this post was just to have a little fun on this friday and poke some fun at my situation.  I don't think I am senior and have many many years before getting there but I thought I would lighten the mood for this friday. 

But I do want a senior discount card...that is pretty badass!

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Surviving Leukemia - It's Not About the Numbers

Less than 100 is all you need to know

A diagnosis of Acute Leukemia (or any Cancer for that matter) is a very scary and confusing time.  You are bombarded by so many different things that you have no prior knowledge of and as such start seeking out sources to try and help you gain a better understanding.  In the first couple hours and days (and truthfully including even years later), the mountain of questions of the unknown is continually growing.  The ultimate question and summit of your mountain of questions is always the same for anyone going through this terrible process:

     

              What are my chances for survival?

Unfortunately this one question can do so much more harm than good for someone going through something as terrible as Acute Leukemia.  It is expected than when you are told you are going to die without medical intervention you are going to be curious about the odds for your survival.  Naturally the first place we go for this information is the internet. 

I am here to tell you this is a mistake, the internet is a wonder source of information, but in cases like this it can be overwhelming and destructive to the most important tool you have in your fight against your Leukemia; your positive attitude.  It is so destructive because lets face it the stats on survival for Acute Leukemia are just terrible.  It is one of the most aggressive and terrible forms of cancer there is.  In addition, the protocol for treating it is extremely long and just as dangerous as the disease itself.

Now I am not saying don't research your disease at all.  I am the biggest supporter of becoming educated on your disease.  When I got sick I half joked that by the end of this process that I would know as much as my doctor's about my disease.  Now this was half in jest but also half reality.  I think it is so important to be educated, if anything else it allows us to prepare mentally for the extremely long and difficult battle that we have coming up. 

But there is a big difference to researching your disease and focusing on the numbers for survival.  To give a frame of reference, I myself made this mistake one night just before my stem cell transplant.  Amy and I were on the couch watching tv and she had passed out so I decided to do some research on my "chances" on the internet.  It was alarming how bad the actual numbers were; shocking in fact.  The worst part was although I could feel it stressing me out internally and destroying my positive energy I just couldn't stop looking.  It was almost addiciting in a sadistic sort of way.  Thankfully I came across a forum of survivors.  As soon as I saw that others survived this regardless of the odds it broke the spell the negative odds had on me and I closed my laptop and have never looked at odds since.

You see the only important thing we need to know when fighting a life threatening disease is if others have survived so too can you.  This is the most important thing we need to latch onto regardless of how bad the actual number is.  If it isn't 100% then others have survived, and so too can you.

The source of numbers like this are studies, and they are just that studies.  There is no, and never will be a, study that is able to give you a true representation of what your personal chances of surviving something is because so many other factors involved that just what type of cancer you have.  Take me for instance, I have no met anyone in two years that has the same cancer, Phildelphia positive bcell acute lymphoblastic leukemia, that is in the same age group as me.  So for me to get hung up on survival statistics done on people that weren't even close to my age seemed silly.  Sure they tell you that when your cancer is more rare you are higher risk, but I think part of that is just because they haven't seen enough cases to say much else.  Remember it is all about statistics, if only two people have a terrible condition and one dies, the survival rate would be 50%.

So whenever you are faced with something that feels like it has impossible odds, take the glass half full approach;  if others can defeat and overcome it, so too can you.  Your personal attitude is more powerful than anything a doctor can prescribe so always remember to fuel and reinforce that attitude with the right type of positive thinking.

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